MOTHERING WITH GRACE: MILLENNIAL WOMEN’S INTENSIVE MOTHERING DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS

Intensive mothering ideals set expectations for mothers to invest large amounts of emotional, physical, and mental energy and time into raising their children (Hays 1996). In the United States, intensive mothering is thought to be one of the most predominant mothering practices (Hays 1996). This study focuses on twenty millennial mothers in a culturally Southern region of East Texas. Extensive previous research finds parental involvement to be significant in the educational development of children. Similarly, it is assumed—from the decades of research—that mothers are the primary caregivers for children. I use a qualitative approach to investigate the influence intensive mothering ideologies have on a mother's educational beliefs, educational expectations for her children, and personal well-being. Mothers in this study varied across education levels, careers, and age. Participants showed consistent patterns of intensive mothering, shared positive feelings and experiences towards intensive mothering practices, and encouraged post-secondary education and general learning. While participants mirrored the findings of the intensive mothering literature—women feeling overwhelmed, tired, or falling short of expectations—the most significant finding of this study was how mothers coped with those feelings. The women in this study discussed mothering with grace and emphasized the importance of giving and receiving grace. In this study, grace was described as a form of patience and forgiveness. Grace was used as a response and coping mechanism when mothers and children fell short of intensive mothering ideals and expectations.